S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
