Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
