Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
