Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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