I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A+ Viking dick
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