there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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