Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh god the rape fog is back!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
