I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
