Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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