i need an iv and a liver transplant
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
