.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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