I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
