it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
