i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
