if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
