I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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