Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
