Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
