i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
