Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
