Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I would fuck him just for his dog
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
