Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
