so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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