Quick, to the slutcave!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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