The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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