he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
