Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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