I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
