Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
