Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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