The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
