like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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