C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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