At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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