you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
