I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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