you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
