no, he came in my armpit
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everyone says I win the strip club
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
