New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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