and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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