I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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