i barfeds in our rink
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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