I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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