Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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