dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
