And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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