I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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