How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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