he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
