party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
