So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
vagina is talking i cant
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
