How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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