Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
