the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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